Oh, Ham let me down: how I lost it today on Twitter. Such fun, everyone!


How I lost all my 3,141,592.65 Twitter followers today

My tweets from today (why you should NOT follow me):

If I read another great quote here that will explain our ticket to heaven, I will certainly pass out. 7 minutes ago

Let’s see, what can I sell. This tweet runs for a million dollars. Anyone? 9 minutes ago

Yessss! Let’s donate tweets! Let’s donate followers! I will donate all my followers for one flesh-and-blood human being. 10 minutes ago

How happy I am today, oh Lord, by being unhappy. Is there a verse allowing us to be unhappy or shall we go to hell if we are already there? 11 minutes ago

Now I can go back to my vegetables – they can talk about other things than smiling and the Bible. 13 minutes ago

It’s not true. I can make the same mistakes a million times and nobody even notices it. They couldn’t care less if I live or die. 16 minutes ago

It is much more efficient to be not listened to by 1 million times million than not to be listened to by one. 17 minutes ago

Let’s obtain another 1 million followers, each with another 1 million followers. That yields, oh boy, 1 million times 1 million. 19 minutes ago

Knock knock – is there anyone out there, or just my freshly grown carrots? Carrots make sense. They have talents to listen. Not you. 20 minutes ago

Let’s give some alms to one another to make this system survive a little longer and allow it to kill some more. What is it for you? Nothing. 22 minutes ago

If I will see another quote today about how happy we are supposed to be while waiting for our smiling executor, I will surely faint. 23 minutes ago

Let’s manufacture today’s happiness. Let’s smile a little wider until our smile runs around our head. Uncle God told us to smile, right? 25 minutes ago

Oh, let’s not forget, we have to smile today too. Is it an order for everyone on the green mile? To smile? Or are we allowed to cry too? 27 minutes ago

Some of the carrots I grow are my best friends. They started a new blog. Just like you and I, they post their monologues. Entertaining. 29 minutes ago

I started to grow some vegetables, too for the dire days when the new barons will stop producing food. 30 minutes ago

Today I started to listen to birds’ talking. They make more sense than humans do. Sometimes they tweet back. 32 minutes ago

So the troubles of the world are non-existent? It doesn’t matter how many die each day? Are we but to close our eyes and leave it up to God? 9 hours ago

If you worry about abused kids, please save us from a future like Hunger Games. It will be the ultimate abuse. 20 hours ago


3 thoughts on “Oh, Ham let me down: how I lost it today on Twitter. Such fun, everyone!

  1. Pingback: How I lost all my 3,141,592.65 Twitter followers today | Family Hurts LLC - Love, Lament & Critique

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